So, things were pretty quiet on the rishta front. My Mum is usually the one who finds new prospectives, but recently, my Dad has renewed his efforts too. This, like everything else in life has its positives and negatives. My Dad has the opinion that as long as a guy is basically good overall, it doesn't matter if he's from the Motherland (Pakistan, for my parents). I, however, have seen a lot of friends and family marry people from back home and there can be a lot of problems (culture clashes, different expectations about each partner's role, blah blah blah); some people can deal with them, because they're awesome like that mashaAllah, or because they go to Pakistan every year, or various other reasons. So, pretty early on in the rishta search, I requested my parents to keep the search in the UK.
Recently one of my Dad's friends said that his friend had a single (and looking to get hitched) nephew in London and suggested that he be introduced to me. All he told my Dad was that he's been in the UK for a few years, is an accountant, and working in a big company. My Dad mentioned it to me and since I could tell he really wanted this to happen (I guess when it's someone your friend suggests, you think it's going to be someone great), I didn't make my "but he's a freshie" argument.
So the day came when the guy came to visit from London. He arrived at the house with my Dad's friend and his uncle. I helped my Mum in the kitchen, preparing food to be served (like a good girl) and then my Dad suggested I bring in the tea and be introduced - urk. I grudgingly entered, said salaam and stood there, red and embarrassed as my Dad introduced me, saying that we (i.e me and the single guy!) should communicate among ourselves as the 'bazoorgh' (rough translation, 'old and experienced') men can only suggest people be introduced because they're from good families, but it's up to us to decide whether we're compatible. A quick glance at the guy when I came in told me he was really embarrassed, and not that impressed. Lovely. My Dad then got me to write down my email address and give it to the guy. Hideously. Awkward.
It transpired that the guy was 29 and doing his final ACCA exams, was working in security (for a big company), and only had a year left on his work visa, so wanted to get married here. Hmmm. And he didn't contact me anyway so I don't have to think about it any more now. Alhumdulillah.
I think my Dad didn't realise how awkward it was to go into a room of random men and just be introduced and basically pushed to initiate contact with someone without finding out if there's anything in common.
There was another potential from one of the Muslim matchmaking sites, but the guy wasn't on the same page as me when it came to interacting with family, so we agreed to draw a line under it.
There is one more prospective on the horizon just now. Another younger guy my Dad knows has a cousin living in London. He's originally from my town, and his family stay fairly near us, but moved there for work. My Mum has had a phone conversation with his Mum, and she seems normal, which seems to be a precious rarity nowadays. His parents came to our house to visit. After a couple of days, his Mum phoned to pass on his phone number, so I could pass on my email address. I asked hime to email me with a biodata/ profile/ what he's like and what he's looking for. He then emailed me telling me his height and weight (I think he misunderstood biodata lol), and attached a couple of photos and asked for a couple of photos of me and my biodata. That's all. So I duly replied (with photos attached, as requested), telling him that height and weight aren't my main priority, so y'know, tell me a bit about yourself kind of thing. He hasn't replied. I hate waiting because it means I end up investing more time thinking about something that possibly - probably, won't happen. How hard is it to send an email, dude? I mean, really. And by the time you're nearly 30, you should be mature enough to let someone know if you're not interested in them too (which I'm assuming is the case), so that they can write you off and move on! I am past the stage of being offended if someone rejects me after seeing my photos. If they don't like the way I look in the nicest photos of me that I have, they probably won't like how I look in real life. That's okay - beauty's in the eye of the beholder and not everyone will find me attractive. Some people compliment me on my looks, some don't. It's all good alhumdulillah. My patience with the waiting game, though, is wearing really thin. OK, so I might not get married in the near future, or at all (inshaAllah this won't happen!) but it would be so much easier if people didn't draaaag things out. Grrr. It's just starting to feel a bit like groundhog day. I want a new story! *Sigh*. All in due course inshaAllah
