Recently, my parents visited some old family friends who they'd fallen out of touch with. Inevitably, the subject of marriage came up and my parents told hem about our rishta woes. A few days later, we got a phone call from some randoms to say that the aforementioned family friends had recommended that our families be introduced as they had an unmarried son. It's nice when people do things like that.
Anyway, they decided to come and visit. They brought their unmarried son, plus his older brother, who was married - they didn't bring either of his sisters, which meant I had no female company :(. Both of his parents walked with a walking stick, which is a shame - I didn't realise until recently how fit and healthy my parents are in comparison to most desi people their age mashaAllah. When I walked in the room to say salaams, it was maghrib time, so everyone was bustling around (I planned it like this so I only had to greet everyone and pray, instead of sitting around awkwardly for what would feel like a lifetime!).
I walked into the room and greeted everyone there - it was the guy, his mum and my dad (the others had gone to the bathroom). So I assumed the guy's mum was sitting down and praying, because when I came in and said my salaams, she stared straight ahead, so I didn't go up to her and hug her. But then my dad suggested that the ladies go into the other room, so I realised she wasn't, and she had just ignored me. Awkward. The guy himself seemed quite a nice, decent, well rounded person, and talking to him was fine. It just felt like there was something weird going on - like his parents instantly realised this wasn't what they were looking for, or that they felt obligated to come in the first place as family friends put the suggestion forward, or maybe they wanted the guy to marry 'back home' - as his other 3 siblings had. They didn't give much away about their son, and the guy's mum took some supari (weird stuff that people from the indopak region chew) out of her pocket and sat there chewing it and not really talking.
Anyway, after it, my family and I discussed what we thought and were pretty sure that nothing would come of the visit: I felt fine - just numb. Same plot, slightly different characters and weirdnesses (yes that's now officially a word)
Needless to say, my mum phoned to ask what they thought (expecting a 'thanks but no thanks' but just wanting to get closure) - and apparently the guy's mum wasn't available to talk. I think it's quite safe to take that as a no.
Allah is the best of planners - here's a nice quote someone put on facebook that made me think:
"What if I told you 10 years from now your life would be exactly the same? Would you be happy about this? Doubtful. So, why are you so afraid of change?"
