So, regarding the guy that I talked to my cousin about (who I had reservations about because he came across as pompous to me, my uncle talked to his family suggesting that we be introduced, but they weren't interested because they're looking for a family of professionals. My family all have degrees and jobs, but what people generally mean when they say 'professional' is 'doctor' :/. Moving on....
The guy that contacted me on one of the matching websites has not replied for a while. Also, I have a strong suspicion, from the information he's given so far, that he is the same guy who was married to a girl I know; him and his family abused her. It's weird; that guy's mum had been in touch with my Mum twice to suggest him for me, and she said that he hadn't been married before, but had just had his nikah done (that doesn't even make sense to me). This was a silly lie to tell because we knew he had been married for at least 2 years; my parents were at the wedding. If this guy is the same guy, he has lied on his profile, saying he's never been married. If he's not the same guy, I'll be very surprised.
UPDATE: I found out that one of the prospectives that came for my sister was divorced. The guy and his family neglected to mention this. I understand that some guys are divorced for reasons that aren't their fault; if this was the case and they mentioned it and were honest, I wouldn't have much of an issue. Lies of omission are usually a bad sign. The person I found out from is a friend of the girl he was married to. Apparently the guy and his family treated her really badly and made ridiculous demands of the girl's family once they realised she had a wealthy family. This is the type of story I keep hearing about different guys. It's so sickening, and I'm finding it difficult not to tar all men with the same brush. I pray that Allah makes all the qualities that I find so abhorrent, ones that don't exist in me (ameen).
Thankfully, I have a lot of things to be getting on with in the next few weeks, so I'm hoping that these dead ends and lack of other prospectives at the moment won't get to me too much. I plan to have some fun girly time at the weekend, and have 2 different weekly Islamic courses to go to, plus a test to study for, for a double weekend course I attended; and I'm starting back at work in the next week too inshaAllah.
Peace out; salaam :)
i think you can do a background check to see if someone is married before or not, if they registered with the government. you can hire a private investigator to find out as much info as he can. i dont know how much it would cost however.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice :). When it's someone from the same city though (which this guy was), there will be someone on the auntienet (or unclenet) who can be relied on to give info on people's background. Much harder to find out when someone's from much further afield. Didn't know you could check whether someone was married or not via the government - hope things don't have to come to that
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