Musing on....the first 3 months of marriage

Salaam everyone,

I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. I have been reading other people's blogs but somehow haven't found time to update my own.

Ahumdulillah my wedding and walima ran smoothly and there were no family arguments etc; if anything - all the preparation and planning brought me closer to my family. The only thing I continued finding difficult was being the centre of attention (though I secretly enjoyed it a bit). There were very minor things that didn't happen that I wanted to happen, and things that happened that I didn't want to happen - but I took the advice that soooo many married people gave me to overlook minor details, enjoy myself and appreciate what everyone was doing for me (I barely had to do or worry about anything thanks to my family and friends - they were absolute superstars and I don't think I can thank Allah SWT enough for them)

I was worried about being in my new home with my new family while my husband is at work during the day considering that I won't start back until the end of September, but it's given me time to settle in, get to know everyone and work on a few projects that I wasn't getting time for before the wedding. After 3 months of marriage, I'm still in the process of transferring stuff from my old house - I didn't realise how much one person could keep in one room :/.

I think I'm in a minority of people who will say that my mother in law is amazing and I hope to become more like her inshaAllah. So far she has treated me better than her own children, and really done everything she could to help me feel comfortable. The same goes for my father in law alhumdulillah.

Alhumdulillah my husband is a really loving, appreciative and affectionate person and I feel really lucky and blessed to have him as my life partner.

There are definitely things that I initially found really difficult - like constantly being presentable  (no more hairy leg or greasy hair days 'because nobody's going to see so who cares?!'). Living in a house with people you don't know, where things happen differently from what you're used to is definitely hard and lonely at the beginning, as well as missing those little daily moments and exchanges that I used to have with my sisters and parents. Nobody told me that if you're a shy person and have always kept yourself at a distance from men, being physically and emotionally close with a man who you don't know that well might be difficult and awkward! But alhumdulillah with time (and an understanding husband), these are things that can be overcome.

I can't believe how much I worried about getting married and how things have worked out. I definitely think that being older and having gone through the frustration, depression and ridiculousness of the rishta process, as well as observing what other married people went through has helped me as a person and in my marriage. Obviously, duas and patience helped too. I know there will be challenges and difficult times, but I'm just going to enjoy being on cloud 9 at the moment :)